You Already Knew: The Importance of Checking In with Yourself

This morning, I did something I don’t particularly enjoy doing. I stepped on the scale. And there it was. Confirmation of something I already knew. I’m at my highest weight since around the pandemic.

I could tell you I was surprised, but that wouldn’t be entirely true. Nobody gains a significant amount of weight overnight. I knew my body was changing. I could feel it in my clothes. I could see it in the mirror. There were signs along the way.

I walk regularly. I try to be mindful of what I eat. I monitor my labs and pay attention to my health. And yet, here I am. The scale didn’t tell me something I didn’t know. It confirmed something I had been reluctant to fully acknowledge.

And as I continued my walk this morning, I started thinking about how often we do this in other areas of our lives. Some people might look at me and say, “You’re fine.” I’m what the clothing industry calls straight size, meaning standard clothing sizes, not plus-size. And as a Black woman, I’m aware that cultural expectations and perceptions of body size can vary. But other people’s perceptions don’t change what I’ve been noticing about myself. I knew my body was changing. I knew my habits weren’t always aligned with my goals. I didn’t need someone else to see it for it to be real.

Here’s where I have to be particularly honest with myself. I have the education. I understand nutrition. I know I need to prioritize protein, pay attention to fats and be mindful of balance. I know Snickers and Oreos can’t be the foundation of a balanced diet. I know better. The problem hasn’t been a lack of information. It’s been a lack of consistency in applying what I already know.

Yes, I’ve been walking. Yes, I’ve been going to the gym. Yes, I’ve been monitoring my health. But I’ve also been making choices that haven’t always supported the outcomes I want. I’ve been doing some things that support my health while also doing things that work against those efforts. And I have to take responsibility for that.

I could point to age, hormonal changes, or other factors that influence weight. Those factors are real, and I’m not dismissing them. But I also know there are behaviors within my control that I haven’t been managing as consistently as I could. And that’s the part I have to own. Knowing better doesn’t automatically translate into doing better. And that brings me to something I see in my work as a therapist.

We know we need boundaries but keep saying yes. We know we need rest but keep filling every moment. We know certain patterns fuel our anxiety but keep engaging in them. We postpone the very things that might help. It’s not always because we lack knowledge. Sometimes it’s because changing behavior requires more than understanding. It requires consistency, intentionality, and a willingness to examine our choices. And sometimes it requires acknowledging that the things we’re doing right don’t automatically cancel out the things that aren’t serving us. That’s not a reason to dismiss our efforts. Those efforts still matter. But it’s a reason to look at the whole picture.

And it raises a question: Why do we sometimes wait for someone else to tell us what we already know?

You know when you’re exhausted. You know when your patience is shorter than usual. You notice when your sleep changes, when you’re overwhelmed, when enjoyment feels thinner, even if you don’t yet know why. Clinically, I understand that symptoms can develop gradually and can be hard to recognize. But there are also times when we do recognize them. We just haven’t decided what we’re going to do about it. There’s a difference between awareness, acknowledgment, and action. Those three things don’t always happen at the same time.

Sometimes we recognize a problem long before we’re ready to address it. We say, next week, when things slow down, after this obligation, when life is less demanding. Meanwhile, the patterns continue, not because we don’t care, but because knowing something needs attention and making room to address it are two very different things.

In clinical practice, we use screening tools and assessments to help identify changes in emotional functioning. We look for patterns over time, not because a score tells us everything, but because tracking changes helps us understand what deserves closer attention. The same principle applies outside the therapy room.

Sometimes the information confirms what we’ve been feeling all along. Confirmation doesn’t have to become criticism. Today, the number wasn’t a judgment about my worth, attractiveness, or value. It was information about a trend I want to understand.

I’ve been taking care of myself, but not always with the consistency that my goals require. Tomorrow, I’ll see my doctor, get updated labs, and continue evaluating my health, not because I’m starting over, but because I’m paying attention and making adjustments where they’re needed. And maybe that’s the reminder for all of us.

Checking in with ourselves doesn’t always mean discovering that we’re doing something wrong. Sometimes it means recognizing that what we’re already doing needs to be adjusted, strengthened, or done more consistently.

We don’t have to dismiss the progress we’ve made to acknowledge the areas that still need work. We can appreciate our efforts and hold ourselves accountable at the same time. Taking care of ourselves isn’t a single decision or a one-time accomplishment. It’s an ongoing process of paying attention, adjusting, and following through.

The goal isn’t perfection. It’s being honest about where we are, intentional about where we want to be, and consistent in the choices that help us get there.

~Sadaqa Ward, LCSW is the Clinical Director of Drawanet and Associates, a full service therapy practice serving clients in Georgia and Utah.